First to make me rofl

[Misterpokemon]

Wins a ShinyDrifblim ♀ 666.

Do anything you want as long as it's appropriate.

I will tell the truth so first to make me laugh get's prize.

I gtg in a few minutes so Ill check again tomorrow

[Jbc]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

[Misterpokemon]

Well I'm not familiar with cars so 5/10

[Jbc]

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

[kurogani the hollow]

how many jokes am i allowed on 1 post

[Destiny]

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Bill Gates all died in a plane crash and went to meet their maker. The supreme deity turned to Al and asked, tell what is important about yourself.

Al responded that he felt that the earth was the ultimate importance and that protecting the earth's ecological system was most important.

God looked to Al and said, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my left hand". God then asked Bill Clinton what he revered most.

Bill Clinton responded that he felt people and their personal choices were most important.

God responded, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my right hand". God then turned to Bill Gates, who was staring at him indignantly.

God asked "What is your problem Bill Gates?"

Bill responded " I think you are sitting in my chair".

[Jas555555]

Rose had been married for 3 days. Until one night, she had a dream. She was ambushed by a gang of robbers who wanted what she had, her diamonds, neckleses, rings, money, etc or they will kill her. She knew the only way to save hey wedding ring was to swallow it. And so she did. And then she woke up but she could not find her wedding ring. She went to the doctor's and he told her that the wedding ring would come out in a day or two.

its an old joke from somewhere o.o

[CChen28]

A christian and a saint were driving in a car. They were talking and having a great time and not really paying any attention to the road. Suddenly, they saw a pedestrian crossing the road. They swerved around the pedestrian, but in the process, they heard a loud bump. "I'm so sorry, I almost killed that man," said the Christian. The Saint replied, "Don't worry my son, I got him with the door.

[kurogani the hollow]

chen and jbc that was to funny dude i feel like im gonna choke from lafter. kuro this is a funny night. kuro

[Transit]

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'

The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, this is Friday so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man..

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs... pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a chick with long legs and who agrees with everything I say.'

[kurogani the hollow]

#1 what do u call 4 mexicans drowning........
cuadro cinco. kuro
#2 why are black people so fast........
all the slow ones are in jail. kuro :)

[jwutheheadcase]

Pirate jokes are fun

"A pirate walked into the bar and saw another one with a paper towel hat. He asked the bartender why, and he said, 'Arrr, he got a bounty on his head.'"

"Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man who showed no fear in facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the seven seas, a look-out spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, ''Bring me my Red Shirt.'' The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt and whilst wearing the bright red frock he led his men into battle and defeated the pirates.

Later on that day, the look-out spotted not one, but two pirate ships. The captain again called for his red shirt and once again, though the fighting was fierce, he was victorious over the two ships. That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of the them asked the captain, ''Sir, why do you call for your red shirt before battle? The captain replied, ''If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood and thus, you men will continue to fight, unafraid.''

All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a manly man as Captain Bravo. As dawn came the next morning, the look-out spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirates ships approaching from the far horizon. The crew stared at the captain and waited for his usual reply.

Captain Bravo calmly shouted, ''Get me my brown pants.''"

"So there was this crusty old salt who retired and went home. His pirate, out at sea, returns to him after a month and continues to rehearse swear words he heard from the pirates. He gets tired of it one day and yells “QUIT IT”. But the bird keeps swearing. He hold the bird underwater, and lets him out, barely alive, but that just makes the bird angrier, and it keeps swearing. He picks up the parrot and chucks it into the fireplace, but somehow it survives and comes out swearing. Finally, in a desperate attempt to just shut out the swearing, he chucks the parrot in the freezer. After five minutes, the swearing has stopped, so he lets the parrot out. The parrot says, “I apologize for my irrational behavior. By the way, what did the chicken do?”

[9997]

a blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
the blonde said, "how about 50 dollars?" the man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
the man replied, "she should. She was standing on the porch."

a short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"you're finished already?" he asked. "yes," the blonde answered, "and i had paint left over, so i gave it two coats. "impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "and by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a porch, it's a ferrari."

lmao!! Haha

[9997]

#1 what do u call 4 mexicans drowning........
cuadro cinco. kuro
#2 why are black people so fast........
all the slow ones are in jail. kuro :)


i dont think racist jokes are allowed.

[Superman]

"So there was this crusty old salt who retired and went home. His pirate, out at sea, returns to him after a month and continues to rehearse swear words he heard from the pirates. He gets tired of it one day and yells “QUIT IT”. But the bird keeps swearing. He hold the bird underwater, and lets him out, barely alive, but that just makes the bird angrier, and it keeps swearing. He picks up the parrot and chucks it into the fireplace, but somehow it survives and comes out swearing. Finally, in a desperate attempt to just shut out the swearing, he chucks the parrot in the freezer. After five minutes, the swearing has stopped, so he lets the parrot out. The parrot says, “I apologize for my irrational behavior. By the way, what did the chicken do?”

Other two were hilarious..but I don't get this one? :/

[Shadow]

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Bill Gates all died in a plane crash and went to meet their maker. The supreme deity turned to Al and asked, tell what is important about yourself.

Al responded that he felt that the earth was the ultimate importance and that protecting the earth's ecological system was most important.

God looked to Al and said, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my left hand". God then asked Bill Clinton what he revered most.

Bill Clinton responded that he felt people and their personal choices were most important.

God responded, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my right hand". God then turned to Bill Gates, who was staring at him indignantly.

God asked "What is your problem Bill Gates?"

Bill responded " I think you are sitting in my chair".
I lmao'd at everything but the punchline.

[empoleonXD]

I....I.. I sw...swwear t to dr...dr..drunk I...I..im not drunk......Please Don't car my take

[Verb]

Q: What do you do when you are constipated?
A: You just dance, cause its gonna be ok.

[Barkley2009]

*Misterpokemon quits and gives barkley2009 all his pokemon*

[jwutheheadcase]

and heres some classic jokes:

"lolol I am the stupid here"
"Africa"

[Misterpokemon]

Jbc: The best so far.
Made me lol but not rofl. 9/10

Destiny: Umm... 6/10

Jas: More of a medical thing than a joke 3/10

Cchen: :lol: 8/10

Transit: Sorta long but is good 7.2/10

kuro: no 1/10

jwutheheadcase:
1. 8/10
2. Woah... 8/10
3. :lol: 8.5/10

Empolian: If that's an entry 1/10

Verb: ...??? 3/10

Barkley: Maybe some day 5/10

jwutheheadcase:
4. 4/10 I missed that thread
5. 6/10 that guy was too jokes

[Games]

I'm stupid

[Misterpokemon]

Congrats 1/10

[RMCALONAN94]

Paddy the irishman goes into PC world . He asks the assassiant can i get a pair of curtains? the assasssiant replys this is a computer shop. Paddy replys yh i know i have Windows and i need curtains :)

[Misterpokemon]

I don't get it 3/10

[Games]

I'm stupid

:big_smile:I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy!:big_smile:

O.K. Here's a real joke.

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.

So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having him for lunch. The dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here." Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me." Meanwhile, a monkey, who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.

But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine." Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet ... and, just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says..................

"Where's that darn monkey? Sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."

[dna57]

why does darth vader know what your getting for chirstmas
he can sence your presents

two atoms are walking down the street one says i think i lost an electron
the other one sas are you sure
the 1st one says yes im positive (electrons are negative)

[Misterpokemon]

6/10

Dna:

1. :big_smile: 7/10
2. Brain hurts 2/10

[RMCALONAN94]

i bought a tiger woods dvd "my best 18 holes" i was surprised that it was a golf dvd not a porno thts lame


thierry henry and tiger woods have been dropped by gillette for there recent bad behaviour... they are too be replace by youtube giant susan boyle!

[Misterpokemon]

FAIL
Sorry, improper language, makes no sense, garbage

0/10

[dna57]

why do seagulls only fly by the sea?
if the flew by the bay they would be bagels (baygulls)

[RMCALONAN94]

A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

[dna57]

basically you die and go to heavean (no gaurantees) so they tell you about lie clocks whaenever you tell a lie it goes around one full rotation some people like Abraham Lincons moved very little
so you ask wheres Obama's
he replys its in gods office he is using it as a fan

And believe it or not i like obama

[Misterpokemon]

A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

Win, create for prize.

[TL2400]

Keep it pg guys. :[

[RMCALONAN94]

i like Chips!

[Misterpokemon]

RMCALONAN94: You already won, create for prize.

[RMCALONAN94]

so do i get that pokemon lol? sorry im a noob :P

[Misterpokemon]

yes, create for it

[MiniKobe]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3N01v-VCpYw

Its only 20 seconds long, I found it so funny xD

[RMCALONAN94]

2163589

Trainer 2871476 is trading:
Nothing

Trainer 2592747 is trading:
#61128441 - ShinyDrifblim ♀ (Level: 666)

[Misterpokemon]

Completed.

[Jbc]

Do get something for coming n second